Unrealistic Expectations

We can often get caught up in the comparison trap any time of the year, but especially during the holidays. With access to other people’s lives through social media we are constantly receiving messages saying “you’re not enough, you don’t have enough, you’re not doing enough.” Comparison makes us want to rush through things and do them just to check the box or buy things only because others have them. People post their picture perfect homes and Christmas decorations, only showing their family being loving towards each other, laughing and seem to live the most perfect life. This can make you feel terrible about yourself and your own life, maybe you’re caring for a sick relative and you’re not even sure they will make it through the end of the year. Your kids are fighting and you might have a fleeting thought “why can’t they be more like ____’s kids”. Maybe you’re all alone and you’d give anything to have the family they have. You see all the gifts that influencers got for their kids and you’re facing a financial crisis. Your home is a mess and you beat yourself up because it doesn’t look like the perfect instagram homes- not one thing out of place. Here’s your reminder that there is A LOT you don’t see and some people work very hard to get just the right angle or only show one perfect corner of the house. Their kids/families do fight, they just don’t show it. They might not even look that way in person (filters and camera angles can alter appearances!). Comparison to unrealistic and unattainable lives are ruining our mental health and ability to be content with what we have. It can also harm your ability to move forward in any way at all - “Well, I’ll never be them/look like them/have what they have so why even try”. It’s one thing to compare yourself and beat yourself up… a better option is to follow people who INSPIRE you, motivate you, challenge you in the best way. Follow people who show you that you can do what they’re doing. You are capable of more than you realize. Follow those who influence you for good- who encourage you to eat well, exercise and take care of your body, pray and strengthen your faith, and be a kind and honest person. And the best part is that you’ll become an inspiration for those around you, setting an example for your family and friends which really is the best gift! It’s important to remember that the holiday season is about giving. First of all, it’s about the gift God gave us in his son, Jesus Christ. It’s about giving our time and attention to our families and loved ones. It’s about sharing with those less fortunate. Experiences will long be remembered when the stuff of the past has gone to the trash or the thrift store. More “stuff”(for you or your kids) won’t fill the voids, it will only leave you with clutter and empty bank accounts. Your kids will remember how you made them feel, the food you ate, the movies you watched, the games you played, decorating the tree: the time you spent together. As I often say, there will always be things outside of your control. Focus on what you can control and what you DO have. Your children will watch and follow your lead- your habits and even your thoughts because what you’re thinking about often is what will play out in your life. Taking care of yourself IS taking care of your family. 

So, let’s start the new year by renewing our minds and shifting our focus on what really matters. Let’s actually accomplish those goals and not give up when it seems too hard. Join me for the Mindset Matters challenge. A free challenge to help you understand how mindset impacts your health, get clear on your values and start taking action. If you want something new, you will have to do something new. Spots are limited. Sign up for the challenge here! 

Also, the holiday season and the end of the year is a great time to reflect on what truly matters. Think back on the last year and decide what you’d do the same, what you would change or do differently, what you appreciate. Use it as an exercise to help write your goals for the next year. And actually write them down! There is power in putting pen to paper. If you haven’t downloaded my journal reflection questions yet, click here and get started! -CS