Benefits of a pause

There is a time to hustle and a time to slow down, the problem comes when the hustle blurs what really matters. When we become so busy doing the same things over and over and getting nowhere fast or constantly striving for the next thing we can lose ourselves. We don’t slow down long enough to find the right things. We live in such a distracted world today- distract from pain, distract from responsibilities, distract from problems and conflict, distract from silence- hearing our voice and God’s. What do we use to distract ourselves? TV, games, social media, shopping, travel, alcohol and drugs, a full social calendar, etc.. All of these things (other than alcohol and drugs) are not always “bad”, it’s the intention behind our use of them, the amount of time they consume, when they become idols or distract us from what actually aligns with our values. One of the best things you can do when it comes to your values, time and schedule is pause before saying “yes” to invitations or requests. Do you feel bad if you say no? Are you only saying yes to please someone else so you don’t disappoint them all the while disappointing yourself? We sign up for so much without even thinking. We end up giving half an effort to 25 things instead of a full effort to the 5 things we actually value. Next time you receive an invitation or someone asks for your help, pause and know that it’s okay to say no. It’s okay to say that you need to think about it. How often do we say yes in the moment and when the time comes we wish we had said no? Know what you value so you can check each request against those values- If I say yes, does this align with my values? It’s important to know what your values are. They will change depending on the season. I encourage you to write down 5 values in this season. One example might be the value of health. Maybe you’re trying to lose weight and really prioritize your health and you’ve decided to stop drinking alcohol (it does contribute to weight gain). A friend invites you out for a drink. Does it align with your current value? No. You might go through all the rollercoaster thoughts like “it’s only one drink, what can it hurt” or “one drink usually turns into two which turns into eating a bunch of junk food, feeling like crap the next day and missing the workout class I signed up for” and on and on. If you really want to see this friend then suggest a walk or hike. This aligns with your value of health and your goals of not drinking AND losing weight (being active vs sitting in the bar). The goals you set will align with your values. It can be helpful to complete a time audit. Actually pay attention to how you spend your time for one week. I’m talking hour by hour.. After a week- how many hours did you spend watching tv? scrolling on your phone? working on that project after hours because you just couldn’t say no to your boss? Look at the list of everything you spent your time on and ask if it aligns with those top 5 values. We fill our schedules without even giving it a thought. Our time is stolen by the distractions I listed or other people deciding for us how we should spend our time. We get in that “go go go” mode and before we know it we feel lost or stuck. Our culture encourages us to do more and strive more. Social media tells us that what we are doing isn’t good enough. People go into debt trying to keep up with others and how they present themselves online. It’s okay if your values are different from someone else’s and it’s okay if they don’t understand why you said no to yet another invitation. It’s not your job to make them understand or to please them. Slow down long enough to listen to yourself and to God. What is important right now? It could very well be a busy season and that will happen sometimes. If you are feeling the burn out and the struggle, you’re thinking that you can’t afford to pause and reflect on your values or re-evaluate your calendar. I would argue that you can’t afford not to. Your health, future and family just might depend on it. Find out how you can work with me here.  -CS